Of Heartbreak And Sorrow

We've only been on the farm for three short months, but we've already experienced our share of heartaches and sorrow. First, there was little Jude. He was a runt. Kicked aside by his mother, and had gotten too cold right after his birth. He was born during a bitter cold spell. The farmer didn't want to deal with such a nuisance, and so, we took him in. We hadn't even moved to the farm yet, but here was this little goat. I got up every few hours to feed him during the night. When it was time to close on the house, along came Jude. Our real estate agent laughed- he said it was definitely the first time he'd seen a goat at closing! Such a sweet, sweet goat he was. He did eat, but it was always only little bits at a time, no matter how hard we tried. He was a happy goat, but he never did gain weight quickly. But it seemed he was making slow progress. But, it was just too much to overcome. We lost little Jude. And, he took a piece of my heart with him.

We had also bought two little LaMancha bucklings. Little known to us, they carried a bacteria that reared it's ugly head around day 7. Both seemed perfectly healthy, and then suddenly went limp. Just like that, they were gone.

Then we had a really close call. Daddy and Bear had gone out to check on the animals before bed, and Bear noticed smoke. Sure enough, a heat lamp had fallen into the hay and started a fire. Both piglets were trapped behind the fire. We all jumped into action, and managed to get it out quickly. We didn't lose the barn, and we didn't lose any animals. But it sure gave us a scare! The funny part was that the barn smelled like a smokehouse for a few days, which somehow amused us with the pigs...

Then there were the lambs. First, I took in Samson. He was a scrawny newborn that had been kicked aside by his mother. He didn't receive any colostrum (that's bad!), and the farmer really just didn't want to fool with it. So, I took him in. I figured out his pallet wasn't well formed, and that's why he struggled to nurse. So, I worked with him. I taught him to eat. And he gained weight like a champion. The scrawny newborn turned into a vivacious baby. He loved Rufus, a newborn Nubian we bought around the same time. Rufus became his big brother, and taught him fun tricks. We decided to take the two of them out for some playtime in the barnyard. We'd be right with them, and thought it would be enjoyable for all. In a few short seconds, tragedy struck. It appears that Paul, one of our miniature donkeys, was trying to heard Samson and Samson didn't oblige. So, he picked him up and ran with him. When he picked him up, the strength of his bite broke Samson's spinal chord. I felt so helpless as I took him into my arms. He was already slipping away. But, that little lamb looked right into my eyes, and I know he told me "thank you". He seemed to wait until I had him before he left. I sat and held him and had a good long cry. That little lamb that I had taught to eat was gone.

A few days later, I got a call asking if I'd take in another kicked aside newborn. I, of course, said yes. He was a BIG newborn. The mother struggled with his birth and the farmer had to pull him. But, despite his size, he just didn't eat right. We never could get him to eat. He didn't seem to have the internal drive to even try. He was gone by the next morning.

After facing several losses, you might wonder if I"m done taking in kicked aside newborns. I can't think of a better way to say this than the Facebook status I wrote the day we lost Daniel: "Lost little baby Daniel, the newborn lamb. I knew he was a "gamble". It is heartbreaking to go through, but I will always keep my heart and doors open to babies like him. If I can provide a happy home, for even just a short time, I will. His time may have been brief, but it was pleasant."

Joshua said that I just can't turn away a baby without a mother. He's right. I can't. I know that means many more losses to come, but I am prepared for that.

Love in Christ,